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Date Title Body
Ohio State will either…

Ohio State will either reverse course back to the success of Urban Meyer OR this season is going to be a spectacular failure. 

If Day comes up short of a top 4 playoff bid, at least, he's gonna get shitcanned.

They can lose precisely once, and it can't be to Michigan. That's a lot of pressure for a culture of divas. 

Conversely, expectations aren't super high for Michigan going into the season. They could win ~8 games with minimal scrutiny. 

I made that fresh out of…

I made that fresh out of undergrad. Pitiful. 

Only the best school and…

Only the best school and football program in the world would be featured on the last and first editions of the only college football video game.  

"A normal football scuffle…

"A normal football scuffle."

You mean completely unacceptable assault with a deadly weapon? 

Imagine being at Michigan…

Imagine being at Michigan State, a place where 99% of students already applied to Michigan, and believing that none of them wish they were anywhere else.   

The Overton Window is…

The Overton Window is shifting on celeb worship. They're rightfully getting viewed as more hunger games and less role models.   

Who has 3 hours to watch…

Who has 3 hours to watch washed up celebs recite terrible jokes? 

MSU is not a flagship…

MSU is not a flagship university. 

I heard from EMU faculty…

I heard from EMU faculty that MSU is taking on more enrollment and pulling from EMU.

Why is our state so dedicated to de-funding the 94 corridor? 

If EMU were the sole safety school, this area could really boom. 

Well you only blue 1 post so…

Well you only blue 1 post so your username still checks out

She plays Chani in Dune. 

She plays Chani in Dune. 

We should roast you.  

We should roast you.  

I went to a CC and then…

I went to a CC and then transferred in. Great way to get a discount UM degree. And you get the same diploma and treatment from employers. 

Although I'm glad I graduated in 2016 before all the covid and inflation bullshit made college insanely more expensive. Have her stay at the co-ops if she needs cheap housing. Truth house has tons of parking.

He's only an inch shorter…

He's only an inch shorter and a fraction of a second slower than Darrelle Revis. Reminds me a lot of him.

Sainristill Island. 

4D chess

4D chess

Fix was in. Couldn't let the…

Fix was in. Couldn't let the Fighting Taylor Swifts lose in the Super Bowl. 

Ah yes, the slow slide…

The B1G will be fine - whether it eventually merges with the SEC or absorbs it.  

When an MSU professor…

When an MSU professor fucking a literal basset hound doesn't make the top 5 scandals... you've got a problem

I wish that there was more…

I wish that there was more social media marketing for the Olympics and other cultural events. I completely missed The Masters bc they all rely on TV network promotion but that's not where I get any information anymore. 

Good luck to Mason. Fairly confident he'll bring home some gold. 

Hiter doing a blitzkrieg on…

Hiter doing a blitzkrieg on the magin-- I mean Ohio State line

"Leader": Doesn't give you…

"Leader": Doesn't give you the information nor appropriate objectives to succeed.

Manager (me): looks like an idiot asking my team to sail a boat missing its sails.

Team: wtf

Me: sorry y'all, hand we've been dealt

Client: I've cc'd your manager about why you have barnacles on your boat

Leader: throws me under the bus, makes more promises we can't deliver on

I'm quitting next Monday and taking a few clients with me, btw. 

 

Hard to get to stay on the…

Hard to stay on the big stage when you got a bunch of Elvises and nobody to push the crowd back. 

They did over a billion in…

They did over a billion in sales. Fucking mortgage crisis killed em.  

He's not soft for leaving…

He's not soft for leaving Oregon. He's soft for going to Ohio State. 

He'll fit in nicely alongside the other victims of bullying. 

If we beat OSU with Hall…

If we beat OSU with Hall pounding their asshole for 4 quarters, the entire state of Ohio might commit sudoku

Averaged 1.9 ppg. I mean…

Averaged 1.9 ppg. I mean... bye 👋 

The Eagles are gonna have a…

The Eagles are gonna have a run. You could tell that they were heavily injured deep into last season- just didn’t want to make excuses or complain about it. 

Honestly, anyone winning over the fucking chiefs would be nice. 

I got some snow I could sell…

I got some snow I could sell them

A muffed punt

A muffed punt

STAND ON THE BUSINESS

STAND ON THE BUSINESS

Which is all accelerated by…

Which is all accelerated by the scourge of humanity that is social media.

When all "news" has to conform to an algorithm designed for addiction, plain-facts reporting doesn't even register.

Until it becomes consensus that humanity needs to build some self-governance around social media and its societal harm, this shit is gonna get worse. 

It permeates every aspect of life now. Even people in my niche industry fight eachother on instagram over hot takes.

He is from Hawaii so…

He is from Hawaii so Honolulu Blue suits him.

If all it takes is money to…

If all it takes is money to bring him, money  can make him leave. I'm glad we take our time and invest where we can real longterm dividends. 

You speak english, Bobby 

You speak english, Bobby 

If I were a star WR, I would…

If I were a star WR, I would be delighted to be the indisputable WR1 on a former championship team before the season even starts. Maybe that's just me. 

Glad Hyman got some…

Glad Hyman got some penetration. 

Tarik Black couldn't keep…

Tarik Black couldn't keep his toe healthy, DPJ was very useful but underperformed his ability and, for whatever reason, we refused to armpunt shots to Nico Collins on every play. 

They started a March Madness…

They started a March Madness bracket at work and I just realized it's been years since I've even contemplated March Madness because we haven't fucking participated. 

(No subject)

Resign and Re-sign are too…

Resign and Re-sign are too similar

Thought you made a block M…

Thought you made a block M lid for your fleshlight.

🤢

I blame Juwan. /s

I blame Juwan. /s

Hijacking this post to say…

Hijacking this post to say that Juwan Howard, if he truly loves Michigan, should resign in shame. 

Went really well, actually!…

Went really well, actually! Inlaws loved the burgers and charcoal ended up not being the dismal science- pretty straightforward once I let the coals heat up on their own for a bit.

Hot dogs. So many animals in…

Hot dogs. So many animals in one tube.

Plant based burgers +…

Plant based burgers + regular burgers. 

A house divided but equally judging my grilling.

Hardpore Corn

Hardpore Corn

Rest in peace you amazing…

Rest in peace you amazing and hilarious jew. 

 

Excellent Petagogy

Excellent Petagogy

The farts this can is…

The farts this can is capable of generating in the human gut are unparalleled.

Post-colonoscopy level results when paired with Busch Light.