So I didn’t get to see most of this game until Sunday night on DVR.  I say this every time, but given the outcome and the timeline, don’t expect this to be particularly long.  I’ll try to compensate with more gifs.

Best: The New Jersey Jobbers

Professional wrestling has a nomenclature all its own: every planned storyline is a "work", an unscripted, "real" moment is known as a "shoot" (which can include actual fighting), guys can blur the line a bit and hit each other either safely ("snug") or borderline unsafely ("stiff"), and characters can move between working as "babyfaces" or "heels". As in the world of illicit underground fighting/anarchy-promotion, one did not talk about the business to non-wrestlers, as that destroyed kayfabe (doing so has created a cottage industry of "shoot interviews" by retired/angry former performers), the thin suspension of disbelief that allows fans to believe grown men and women actually do stuff like this within the course of a fight:

And for those of us who grew up watching wrestling in the 80s and 90s, one of the most common sights Saturday morning was Jake "The Snake" Roberts or Bret "The Hitman" Hart dismantling a "jobber" in short order. These performers, with names such as Barry Horowitz and the Brooklyn Brawler, would be referred to today as "enhancement talent", sparring partners of sorts who were supposed to make the other's stuff "look good" by flopping around and taking "bumps" in such a way to maximize the ferocity of their opponent's offense and sell that to those watching the match. In other words, they were the FCS/Sun Belt/MAC-rifices of the world, just with (slightly) better outfits/uniforms.

Well, I hope the NY basic cable sports package subscribers were worth it Jim Delaney, because Rutgers just got squashed about as authoritatively as possible this side of Brock Lesnar fighting a one-legged guy. 

Now to be fair, as in squash matches, the jobber sometimes does get a little offense in.  Maybe a punch here, a dropkick there, just enough to make it seem like they aren’t completely overmatched.  Rutgers finished with 225 yards of total offense, 128 on the ground and another 97 through the air.  Of that 128 yards, one was a 54-yard run on Rutger’s first scoring drive that sure seemed like a hold on Glasgow, who otherwise had the play dead to rights, and 42 of those 97 passing yards coming on two long completions by Laviano with Michigan up 46 to 16.  The vast majority of Rutgers offense came from two sources; (1) Janarion Grant returns (his 98-yard KO return for a TD plus his 67-yard punt return that set up a FG to end the half) and (2) absolutely, positively incompetent refereeing.  In a game, a weekend, a month, a year of terrible officiating across America, it’s getting harder to pick out specific examples of when the officiating gets its most wrong, but the end of the first half was just comically bad.  I mean, I’m starting to lose track of which exasperated gif of Jim Harbaugh to link to anymore, as they all display the same “you have to f*ing kidding me” vibe of the same dumb decisions made the different, faceless goobers in polyester uniforms roaming the sidelines of college football games.

But despite this idiocy, Michigan just ran through Rutgers in this game, scoring on 8 of their first 10 drives before calling off the dogs a bit.  About the only things fans were left rooting for entering the 4th quarter was whether UM would break 50 points and/or 500 yards of total offense, two marks they easily could have exceeded had they wanted.  But after going for 2 up 25 because of math on a card, Rutgers was left looking up at the lights and UM was ready to cut a promo on the Hoosiers.

Best:  Mr.  Booty

So Jake Butt had himself a game.  4 catches, 102 yards, and though he’s generally a peaceful man, he apparently had bad intentions late in the 2nd quarter to the extent that nobody on the Rutgers defense thought it beneficial to keep an eye on him.  I couldn’t tell watching the game if this was deliberate misdirection or if, you know, the 106th-ranked defense in the country gone messed up, but this unsportsmanlike penalty robbed Butt of an even more impressive game.  Still, if you are a top TE recruit, yesterday’s game should hopefully be a reminder that a Harbaugh-designed offense is the platonic ideal for a player in that position, as Butt was able to line up across the field and wreak havoc with mismatches even when he wasn’t targeted.  While Peppers often drew a fair share of panicked double teams whenever he stepped onto the field, there were a number of instances as the game progressed where Rutgers shifted their coverages to account to Butt, especially after he split the defenders on his long completion to start the second half scoring. 

With MSU losing and OSU looking tractable, UM still has a chance to make a run at a conference title this year, and they’ll need Butt to have more games like this in order to keep the offense humming.

Best:  Jake <Funny Dual-Threat Pun> Rudock

Yeah, finding a name for Jake Rudock that encapsulates his running ability is still a work in progress.  When Steven Threet was manning the helm of RR’s janky 2008 offense, I loved referring to him as “Dual Threet” because I am apparently Carrot Top or a British variety show panelist.  And with Robinson, well, it kind of wrote itself.  But with Rudock, I’m not sure what name to give his particular brand of elusiveness.  I was tempted to call him Jake “The Snake” Rudock, but then I remember people used to call Jake Plummer that, who in turn liked the nickname because it referred to his favorite professional wrestler Jake Roberts, and then a totem started spinning and all of a sudden I was floating through an elevator shaft with Tom Hardy.

But anyway, Jake Rudock had his best game by far as a Michigan Wolverine in this game.  He was efficient (70% completion rate) and aggressive (337 yards on 13.5 ypa) while still cognizant of keeping the offense moving (no interceptions, 4/6 on 3rd down, 10 different receivers caught at least 1 ball).  He accounted for 3 TDs (2 in the air, 1 on the ground) as well as the 2-point conversion, and generally got the ball to his receivers quickly and with some room to run.  He was helped by an offensive line that held Rutgers with 0 sacks and only a handful of rushes you could even consider “pressures”, and I still think he threw a couple of balls such that his receivers didn’t catch them in stride, but these are minor complaints.  Rutgers being a tire-fire defensively also can’t be ignored, but we’ve seen Rudock struggle against equally-mediocre secondaries, so this game can’t be solely chalked up to opponent derpitude.

It’s been said all along that UM can win most of their games with an efficient Jake Rudock; if this game turns out to be a turning point for him and he finishes the year strong, then this team is a real threat to run the table and make it real uncomfortable for the playoff committee.  In addition to Butt, both Darboh and Chesson have looked much more comfortable these past couple of weeks, stir in a bit of Peppers here and there, and this team takes on a whole other, much scarier dimension if they can consistently move the ball in the air.

Meh:  Running Backs – Outlook Hazy

Another week, another okay performance by the running backs.  After there was reasonable clamoring for Drake Johnson to get more carries, he responded with 27 yards and a TD on 7 carries plus a nice 28-yard run on a screen, but also bumbled a simple pitch on UM’s first drive that nearly was a TO deep in their own territory.  De’Veon Smith received the lion’s share of the carries (15 for 73 and a TD), and also added 2 catches for 45 yards.  It’s not a perfect analogy, but with Johnson what you get is a player who can maximize the yards your offense is designed to get you; with Smith, you get a guy who will maximize the yards he can get given the offense.  In other words, Johnson will make quicker cuts and get to the hole faster, but with few exception he tends to go down when he’s “supposed” to.  With Smith, he might be slow to the spot, but he’ll drag 1-2 guys forward for an extra yard or two if the play breaks down.  I’m not sure which is better, but it seems like UM is going to roll with both for the next couple of games.

Throwing out the last couple of drives when UM was just trying to run the clock out with guys like Green and Douglass, you’re looking at about 140 yards on 33 carries, or about 4 yards a pop.  It was an adequate performance, but one you’d hope would have been a bigger win by the UM offense given how turrible Rutgers is against the rush.  I don’t assume UM will find much more resistance next week against Indiana, so perhaps next week will be a more spectacular performance before they run into the stone walls that are PSU and OSU.

Best:  Multiple Screen Experience

I know I ragged on the running backs a bit above, but kudos to the entire offensive side of the ball for some of the best screens I’ve seen UM run in years.  There was a big 2-and-20 conversion where Smith rumbled for 31 yards on a delayed screen that was facilitated by a double fake, and another nice pickup by Johnson on UM’s first drive.  You obviously can’t call too many screens before teams get wise to them, but as long as defenses continue to cheat up to stop the run, I love how Harbaugh and co. keep teams off-balance without forsaking the running backs in the open field.  This type of playcalling felt nonexistent under Hoke, and I’m hoping it will become even more prevalent going forward.

Best:  Defensive Bounceback

After getting gashed a bit last week by Minnesota and, apparently, a herd of football spirits who bet on the over AND the Gophers to cover, UM’s defense was back to largely strangling offenses.  Yes, Rutgers busted a nice run early on (though it sure looked like holding), and had a couple of long-ish completions on them, but they also limited the Knights to 3.8 yards per play, 41% completion percentage, and about as many first downs by penalty (4) as by rushing (7) or passing (6).  Most of Rutger’s more successful drives were helped by multiple questionable calls by referees (when Matt Millen, yes, THAT Matt Millen, thinks you might be making mistakes on the job, you ain’t doing great) or good field position due to a kick return with a couple of uncalled block-in-the-backs/targeting penalties. 

After perhaps his worst game as a Wolverine, Desmond Morgan bounced back nicely.  He led the team in tackles, didn’t seem to struggle too much in coverage, and generally looked the part of solid linebacker.  I’m not sure how responsible he was during that 54-yard run, but he seemed to be where he needed to be to minimize gains all day.  Bolden also played well, as did Ross at his more natural position after a 1-week trial at Buck.  I was surprised not to see Gedeon on the field; I might have missed an injury report, though, so I don’t know why he didn’t see any time.  Otherwise, I thought the unit responded well after they were run over a bit by the Gophers.

The defensive line played great again; it’s probably more worth my time to point out the rare instances when they don’t dominate a team.  In this game, Chris Wormley took his umpteenth place in the spotlight with 2 sacks and multiple QB pressures; he nearly caught Laviano dashing across the field in the 3rd quarter, and along with RJS and Henry helped to compress that pocket all game.  I noticed early on that Millen commented how Rutgers rarely had anyone open downfield, and while a healthy bit of that credit should absolutely go to the secondary, it was also clear that Rutgers had to maximize protection on a lot of passing downs to even have a chance of getting the ball out, and credit for that should go to the front line. 

As for the secondary, they did catch a bit of a break with Carroo out for this game, but at this point I’m not sure it would have mattered all that much.  Maybe Rutgers breaks one long pass and cracks 150 yards in the air, but this defensive backfield is playing really well even with the occasional breakdowns.  As noted elsewhere, super-boring safety Jarrod Wilson had a very not-boring INT on a pass that should never have been thrown (or if you are Mitch Leidner, wide open gimme yards), Jourdan Lewis added his name to the record books for most pass breakups in a season with 19, and Peppers was his do-everything self.  I also thought Thomas took a nice step forward after last week’s struggles, and one of these days he’s going to get into the open field on a pick and he’ll be gone. 

Worst:  No Turnover Luck

This was something I‘ve been passively watching all season, but UM has had some of the worst luck this year in recovering opponent fumbles.  Over the first 9 games, UM has recovered 1 fumble by their opponent while coughing up the ball 5 times of their own.  On the season UM has a –3 TO margin, but if they even had average luck with fumbles they’d be on the positive side of the ledger in that department.  In 2011 UM had one of the best turnover margins in the country, helped immensely by their nation-leading 20 fumble recoveries.  That helped to paper over some inefficiencies in the unit that caught up to them in subsequent seasons.  But this year, UM is dominating other teams without getting quick outs or much luck on fifty-fifty balls like this, making their accomplishments even more impressive and, you hope, more indicative of real, sustainable progress.

Worst:  Don’t Kick to Anyone

Again, it’s hard to find a lot of negatives when you beat a conference opponent by 33, but UM’s decision to kick multiple times to Grant was just dumb, especially the low, line-drive KO that he scored on.  The punt return bothered me less because it shouldn’t have counted one iota (as a general rule, when a player is taken to the locker room because he’s suffering from head/shoulder injuries that you JUST flagged him for doing, you really shouldn’t pick that one up and tell everyone to move along), but like Will Likely and Maryland, Grant was one of the few offensive weapons the Scarlet Knights had in this game, and giving him the ball with a full head of steam was profoundly unnecessary.  I’d get it if he took the ball 9 yards deep in his endzone, but whatever incremental advantages you get when you tackle a guy short of the 25 are far outweighed by the time the super-fast, hard-to-tackle guy houses a return.  Again, 33 points and it could have been more, but I just don’t see the cost-benefit analysis in kicking to guys like this. 

One positive, though, was Lewis nearly catching Grant on his TD return, which was reminiscent of him catching Utah’s running back last year to save a TD.  But NFL scouts, he’s still super-small and not at all fast.  No reason to waste his time thinking about the draft.  None at all.

Worst:  These F*ing Refs

I just…I don’t get it anymore.  Matt Millen thinks you messed up a bunch of times in this game.  Matt Millen.  The guy who kinda, sorta defended Joe Paterno on ESPN.  The guy who somehow turned the Detroit Lions from a very bad football team to a historically terrible one. 

Anyway, I don’t know if the call on Butt’s long completion was right; I definitely think the decision to pick up the targeting flag at the end of the half and give Rutgers their last FG shot was terrible because they also missed at least one block in the back, maybe more.  They also seemed to missed a couple of rather blatant holds on both sides, especially early on, and continue to not understand that a defensive player being run into by a WR doesn’t immediately count as “pass interference”, especially when the ball is 5 yards behind him.  For once, at least, it didn’t really matter how incompetent they were to the final outcome, but it’s getting just silly watching these grown-ass men mess up week in, week out.

Best:  Karma

I normally don’t care all that much about other teams, even past opponents and current rivals, once UM plays them.  I pay attention to the games, but I’m usually more rooting for a good game than a particular outcome.  But I made an exception for Nebraska-MSU and that last couple of minutes because, well…

You make a dumb shirt commemorating the time you got one of the flukiest finishes in recent college football history to escape a game you deserved to lose?  Yep, ain’t going to feel bad when you can’t stop Tommie Armstrong and 3-6 Nebraska from moving 91 yards in 4 plays to score a TD on you, crappy officiating and all.  And yes, I think it’s dumb that calls like that still happen and it has to suck to lose a game in such a fashion, but when you’ve played with fire all season with late-game wins and crappy secondary play, you have to expect at some point it would bite you in the ass.  On replay I couldn’t tell if the receiver was forced out of bounds, but the corner definitely made contact with him when he tried to come back in, and it was close enough on that sideline to be the type of judgment calls we apparently are happy to give 50-ish year-old men who seemed kinda gassed by the end of the game to make in the moment. 

Regardless, I caught the last minute of that game with my FIL, and we both chuckled when Nebraska just started blowing down the field almost as if MSU wasn’t even there.  I’m sure we’ll get an announcement this week from the B1G office regarding the officiating, but for now UM stands to gain immensely from this loss, especially if OSU does what is should and blows out MSU at home. 

Next Week

Indiana is scuttling, but that offense is very good.  Jordan Howard is one of the best backs in the country (he’s averaging 6.1 ypc for the season, and an even healthier 6.3 at home), and Nate Sudfeld is very dangerous if given time.  That said, IU also blew a 25-point lead to lose to this same Rutgers team at home, so I expect the defense to give up a couple of long gains but only after UM is comfortably ahead.